Nevermind The Posers

See ya in the pit.

Music and Video Fail: “Hell Yeah” Midnight Red August 30, 2012

Filed under: Music Videos,Rants — NVMP @ 7:04 AM
Tags: , ,

Review by Hoverbee

This is what’s wrong with music and the youth in general, although I’m sure lots of soccer moms may get down to this as well.  Each member of the group is a representation of a different scene or genre to ensure maximum dispersal through various demographics.  Don’t even get me started on the weird guy with the pointy hair.  Vanilla Ice called…he wants his hairstyle back.  The music itself is a simple rehash of what can only be described as the pop music of today’s cheap moves.  We’ve all heard this song before.  I normally do research on bands for video reviews, but for this I felt no bother.  I don’t care where they’re from and am sad they ever decided to leave that place to spread this god-awful brand of musical heresy.  Hey all of you who have no need for real substance or culture, this song/video will make you feel good about that lost weekend you can’t quite remember and glorify your need for never-ending drinking and shag fests.

 

People Who Live In Glass Houses… May 14, 2012

Filed under: Can You Believe This?!,Rants — NVMP @ 9:43 PM

…Need a life of their own…

So it came to my attention that ABC is starting a new show.  Before I tell you what it’s about, let me say how abhorrent I felt the concept of Big Brother, or even Survivor was: these staged “reality shows” depicted people in manufactured situations and try to film the so-called action.  I like to think of myself as an independent thinker, so naturally, all of these I found repugnant.  I thought the reality show craze itself was a superficial solution to the writer’s guild strike of 2003-ish.  That somehow, we would get one or two seasons of these bullshit shows, and eventually, get back to actual television – that is where the line between reality and fiction is clearly visible: news or sitcoms, documentaries or dramas, etc.

I couldn’t have been more wrong.

Now we have tons of shows on the idiot box following people around as they live their lives, and even some that show people doing their jobs – wow imagine that, watching people work.  In theory, it sounds about as exciting as a root canal.  But sadly, the masses buy into this drivel.  No article can change society, or at least not one posted on the internet, but I’d like to illustrate this vicariously-living cancer we, as a culture, gobble up hook, line and sinker.

Here is the breakdown of a new show coming to ABC:

“The Glass House,” the exciting and interactive real life and real-time reality competition where viewers are in charge of the game, premieres MONDAY, JUNE 18 (10:00-11:00 p.m., ET) on The ABC Television Network. In “The Glass House,” 14 contestants will live and compete for a quarter million dollars in a totally wired, state-of-the-art house, playing not just against each other, but also playing to win over the viewing audience each week. Both online and through their social networks, viewers will be encouraged to support and follow the contestants they like, their votes helping to determine which contestants are sent home and also which eliminated players will earn the chance to return to “The Glass House” to compete each week.  But viewer feedback doesn’t end there! Several times a week, viewers can watch a live online feed of the players and vote to decide everything from what players wear and eat to the games they play, even where they sleep. Viewers will also have the chance to give their favorite contestants feedback on their game from outside the house. How the contestants use that information is up to them, because in the end it’s about who plays the best social game. The most important alliance players can have is with their fans!”

Now that you know as much as I do about this new television abhorrence – allow me to dissect it.

We are turning into a voyeuristic society – so much so that instead of going out fishing we watch Deadliest Catch.  Instead of harboring our own primal instincts for self-preservation, we watch Survivor.  We, as a society, are becoming more and more distant from ourselves, and more infatuated with the others.  If it’s on the ol’ picture box, we eat it up, no matter how inane.  Now we have social media working in concert with television to create a grand distraction of epic proportions.  This reminds me of the Gerard Butler movie “Gamer”: where people control other people’s actions, simply because they can.

Now let me assert this: would you rather control someone else’s life, telling them to play monopoly and wear Capri pants and eat disco fries, or would you rather live your own goddamn life?  Hopefully, you chose the latter, but apparently network television (and the research of the population they did – and trust me, they don’t do anything without dumping tons of money into researching it first) believes it’s the former.

Another question: where, how and when did we become so terribly, terribly voyeuristic?  This is the equivalent of opting to watch porn over going out and getting some ass…doesn’t make sense when you look at it like that, does it?

I’m not saying I have a solution to this problem, as this is just a rant pointing out the “idiocracy” under which we all toil.  Then again I do have a solution – stop watching TV and make your own life.  Stop worrying about which dude the Kardashians are banging this week and concentrate on your own job, your own finances, your own relationships, and your own well-being.  (After all, the economy is in the shitter, a staggering percentage of people are morbidly obese, and families are at times composed of complete strangers to one another) We are so obsessed nowadays with people who are special for being famous, and no longer infatuated with people who are famous because they are special.  Fifty years ago, guys like Sammy Davis Jr. wowed us with their multi-faceted entertainment ability, and people tuned in to watch American Bandstand and other similar programs.  Now people flock to the television to see which pageant mother is giving her daughter lifelong issues one inappropriate costume after the other. People are DVR’ing shows about Tori Spelling being with child, an actress who is neither talented nor relevant.  Jersey Shore has tons of teens, tweens and even twenty-something’s obsessed with their douchebaggery, waiting to see how much more unattractive Snooki can get, both physically and as a humanoid.

My point is just this – the only reason this drivel is on TV or in the media is because you people keep buying into it.  How about we have a renaissance of reason and enlightenment of the masses, and realize that these people are buffoons, and however “entertaining” they might be, they make exponentially more money than the population who slaves 40+ hours a week, and unwinds by watching this manufactured mirror of “life” unfold from the comfort of their modular Ikea furniture.

Shut off the TV, open your mind and get with a new program.  This message is brought to you by Alexander ‘Stigz’ Castiglione.

End Transmission.

 

MTV CEO STEPPING DOWN…SHOULD WE CARE? June 26, 2011

Filed under: Can You Believe This?!,Rants — NVMP @ 11:39 AM

A response to the 5/11/11 Barbara Ortutay AP article found here.

Written by: Klone

So, on the one hand this Judy McGrath person should be commended for making MTV what it once was, but at the same time I feel like it’s ABOUT TIME the idiot who took MTV from being MUSIC television to MEANINGLESS television should NOT be celebrating a career of success.

I mean, seriously?  “Jersey Shore” and “16 and Pregnant” are accolades?  Why aren’t the conservatives trying to do something about the fact that MTV is glorifying ignorance on ALL levels by promoting “guidos/guidettes”, ruining a state’s reputation with the rest of the nation and making TV stars out of teens who become pregnant unintentionally and out-of-wedlock, or more likely intentionally, seeking celebrity.  Would seem a ripe target….

MTV doesn’t seem to know the difference between exacerbating a problem and bringing to light a scary new phenomena.  I think at one time it did know, which is why they put together their multi-chaptered documentary series called “Sex in the 90s”.  Now, there was a liberal approach to a socially taboo subject (at the time) that went out of its way to bring all sides of the debate to the table and let the viewer be educated.  If this series were done today, it would actually be an under-cover, mainstream porno show.  Somewhere between the 90s and the turn of the century, MTV completely lost its way, and began laying down with dogs to make celebrities of society’s fleas.
I remember a time when MTV was all about celebrating the fun side of life.  If America was the small town in the movie Footloose, MTV was Kevin Bacon, getting the entire nation’s youth to get up and dance.  We had ACTUAL MUSIC VIDEOS that were shown IN THEIR ENTIRETY all day long.  You had ground-breaking sketch comedy shows like “MTV’s The State” and even something for the comic book/art fans with their many animated shows like “MTV’s Oddities: The Head”, “MTV’s Oddities: The Maxx”, “Liquid Television” (a truly under-rated, yet amazing variety/sketch show), and who could forget all the fun game shows like “Remote Control”, “Singled Out” and “Idiot Savant”. The network literally had the world in the palm of its hand, when enter Mary Ellis-Bunim…the mother of reality television and the garbage program of which she was the executive producer, “The Real World”.  Nothing would ever be the same.

Now what are they?  The virtual graveyard for the leftovers from the last decade of decadence (how I miss Motlëy Crüe…I know they’re still around, but like all things of the old days of MTV, it’s just not the same.)  I actually pity today’s kids, who have no concept of a world not accessible through an iPhone.  The kids have no idea what it’s like to have a wide array of artists constantly on display, but never on-demand.  It’s a sad, sorry state of affairs, and I for one think Ms. McGrath failed one generation after helping define the previous one.  I may be a harsh critic, but I must have missed the memo where we pretend that failing to follow-up on your previous successes was the new “in”-thing to celebrate.  MTV…WTF?!  Oh wait, I know…it’s all about the money, stupid.  Ha.  Silly me.

 

Views on YouTube don’t reflect the truth about you dude! June 15, 2011

Filed under: New Music,Rants — NVMP @ 9:16 PM

By oZ Litvac

I heard about this unsigned rapper by the name of Childish Gambino.  My first reaction was, ‘what a silly name, I hope he can rap.’  Then I watch the video for “Freaks and Geeks” and decided quickly I am not impressed.  I kept an open mind and gave some more tracks a listen.  There was a small amount of lyrics that caused me to raise an eyebrow, that’s about it.  Although the dude can flow, he portrays an image of a young kid with lame metaphorical references about uninteresting things such as his penis and girl ass’s that he fucks.  The problem is, he is not a kid nor is he that young to capitalize on childishness.  Besides, Bieber already did that.

The desperate attempt to rhyme like the influences that birthed his courage to rap is at best pathetic.  Even though he swears he reinvented the wheel with that corny dance in the video, I am sure I have seen someone else do it before.  The beats sound like every other Lil Wayne beat, and the flow sounds like every rapper getting plenty of spins on the radio, but lacking originality and imagination.  It is safe to say he will have his fifteen minutes of fame because he has some talent, and his live performance (on you-tube) seems to have some good energy, at least the one or two live videos I’ve seen.  But just as fast as he popped out of nowhere, he can be forgotten by next year.

We don’t need another Kanye West or Lil Wayne, that is for sure.  So if Gambino has nothing new to bring to hip hop, it is only a matter of time before he becomes the next has been.  Because if he plans on making it based on skills alone, it is thrice as hard as if he actually knows the right people plus puts in the work it takes to evolve into a respectable rapper, and even then it will take years which will require him to stay relevant.

 

Osama Bin Laden: 10 years, Trillions Spent, War Far From Over May 10, 2011

Filed under: Rants — NVMP @ 10:30 PM
NVMP believes in freedom of speech, here’s a taste.  If this offends you, please don’t read.
– TNT

A Rant by Stigz

Yes, that’s a headline you will never see.  Which is shocking considering it’s as true as water being wet.  In other news, the sky is blue.  That being said, I’d like to examine what this epically newsworthy event sparked and illustrated – to me at least.

First and most painfully apparent – the power of social media platforms.  I’d wager that 90% of people heard about this via Facebook.  Personally, I was sitting on my friend’s front porch when I received an update from a CNN app on my phone proclaiming the terrorist figure-head’s demise.  He, at the same time, got a phone call from his friend, proclaiming the death of the man that plotted the 9/11 attacks and subsequently killed thousands of New Yorkers and injuring thousands more.  Just out of curiosity I checked out Facebook.  I bet if I would have done a word search for the words “Osama” or “Dead” I would have come back with thousands of results.  Which brings me to my next point – the next person to make the Osama/Obama connection, I’m going to hit you with an iron skillet.  Thanks for the obvious connection; maybe next you can work less blatant word play.  However, besides the obvious rejoicing of catching the scumbag that killed thousands of my fellow citizens, I’m so glad I don’t have to hear about the Royal Wedding anymore.

America, I have something to tell you.  We have a history of not being like the British.  In fact, we celebrate it every July 4th, when a bunch of white slave-owning farmers got together and signed a document which told King James to piss off.  This country was started because of disgust for royalty.  Now we are obsessed.  Let’s stop sliding ass backwards.  Please.  “Modern day fairy tale” or not, the entire debacle isn’t what I would consider worthy of more than a few lines on the nightly news.

And finally, I’d like to say to the American public that we are not always the “good guys.”  I’m not going to puff rainbows up your ass – this country is built on blood.  For us to even live here, whole societies had to be killed or displaced (American Indians, for those of you that failed history class).  Now, I’d like to preface my next statement by this.  My father was a Navy SEAL in Vietnam, one of the first.  My grandfathers on both sides were in the military.  My grandmother was part of the WWII war effort.  My mother was a Federal agent.  I have a history steeped in military service and fighting for the homeland.  Personally, I think that in order to vote, all citizens must serve their country in the armed forces, be it in a combat capacity or clerical.  Italy, Japan and Israel have similar systems, and trust me, tell people they have to be ready to die for their country to be able to have a say, and watch how fast these bleeding heart liberals and tortoise-shell-glasses wearing hipsters shut their cakehole.  Most people who know me, know this is how I feel, but I will put it in writing.  Being that I am the only man in my family to carry on my name, I could never be drafted.  However, Sullivan Act or not, if the war has a chance of coming to the shores of the land I was born in, you’ll be damn sure I’ll be on the battlefield the next day.

This brings me to my next point – this newfound respect for the Navy SEALs is abhorrent.  They should have had our respect from the word go.  These are warriors, men of men, who have been trained to fight, kill and survive since they were in their late teens or early twenties.  They should have always been in the hearts and minds of all Americans, just like our soldiers overseas.  (PS Not only is a SEAL team the most elite and awesome fighting force on the planet – but they have attack dogs with titanium teeth. Yes, it’s true; look it up…Long story short, America doesn’t fuck around.)

Now on the news I see this neurotic fixation on them.  I even saw a blurb on the news saying “Meet the heroes of the SEAL team that killed Osama tonight.”  This is ridiculous.  Let’s call a spade a spade: We assassinated Osama.  We took our best Special Forces detachment and raided a compound and took out a high value target.  However, they don’t use the word assassinate.  They shot him unarmed, and capped his wife in the leg (which, I have to say, what was running through her head trying to attack a SEAL team in tactical gear with – most likely fully automatic and silenced weapons?)  Case and point, this proves, we assassinate people – and some people we should put two in their head and one in their chest.  For those that said he should have stood trial, go back to your hippie circle and sing Kumbaya.  He killed thousands of ours; we should have dragged him through the town and set him on fire.  Sometimes, people have to die.  And for the first time in a while, the right one was killed.  On another note, these heroes deserve their privacy – they are a covert operations outfit.  This is only one of I’m sure, dozens of black ops that have happened since the New Year.  This one was just more palatable to tell the American public.

My point in this rant is this:

A) “We” didn’t get him.  A combination of good intelligence, fearless Special Forces operators, and sheer balls got him.  So stop saying “we.”

B) We, America, are a great nation.  We boast freedoms for every man and woman that some countries couldn’t dream of.  However, we didn’t get all of this by being nice.  There is blood on all of our hands.  If you can’t deal with that, leave.

C) This isn’t the end of the “war on terror” (a term I hate in itself).  Terrorism is global.  Terrorism has been around for centuries.  And until we shape our global policies to deal with this sad truth, we are all doomed.  Don’t celebrate yet – not until our soldiers come home.  We are fighting in several countries still, with no end in sight.

D) This was an unsanctioned black op in enemy territory where helicopters went in low, touched down and unleashed a shit storm in Northern Pakistan.  In short, we assassinated Bin Laden.  I hope he brought marshmallows to roast in Hell next to Hitler.

Don’t say “we” won, because unless you have stripes on your shoulders, you didn’t do anything except play Call of Duty on X-box and watch the news.

 

For The Love Of Music, Or The Money? April 14, 2011

by Angela Blasi

So Drake was momentarily out of Young Money after an alleged argument and shoving match between him and Lil’ Wayne.  According to the rumor mill, like most celebrity fallouts, Drake got heated when discussing the possibility of restructuring his contract and while also inquiring about royalties.  He threw some words around to which Lil’ Wayne, the badass he is, basically told him to get the fuck out.  Days later the internet is a buzz with media citing that, oh, he was just kidding!  Drake, you so funny.  From interviews given by both Drake and Lil’ Wayne the two have cited nothing but the utmost appreciation for one another and are in fact still a part of the Young Money machine.

While this sounds like a sweet tale of bromance, the cynic in me can’t help but wonder how big a role money played in this smoothing over.  I imagine Drake throwing a bitch fit over royalties, starting to get an inflated sense of self (when most people know you’re from Canada and played the handicapped kid on Degrassi) and popping off at the mouth.  Fast forward a day and everyone realizing that, holy shit, we make a lot of money to do this, are you fucking stupid?  Smile for the cameras boys.

 

Katy Perry on Sesame Street? Really? September 29, 2010

By Alexander Stigz Castiglione

We all saw it on the news.  We all read about it on MSN.  We all know what happened.  If you don’t, allow me to kick over the rock you’ve been living under.

Apparently, Katy Perry, pop-singer and one-hit wunderkind, was in a sketch on Sesame Street that was deemed too racy.  Check it out below.


Now that your brain cells are fried and ears bleeding, let me go on with my rant.

First off, what crack smoking CEO or acid-laced talent manager booked the same person who made the breakout hit “I Kissed A Girl”?  What rum soaked PR agent spun this, and offered a broad who sings about bikini’s and daisy dukes to a children’s program?  And we wonder why kids are getting dumber and dumber…we’re not leading by example.  (“We” being the people who are supposed to be adults).

I got to give it up to Elmo though, because for a red furry little bastard, he gets mad play.  Although the clip was more amusing to watch because of Katy Perry’s laughable acting skills, and even more atrocious lip syncing, I wouldn’t say it went into the category of “racy.”  So all you soccer moms that are up in arms: stop acting like it was Elmo catching some dome while the Cookie Monster hit it from behind.  It wasn’t that bad.  It was dumber and more irrelevant than offensive.

On a side note: Isn’t Sesame Street supposed to be about learning?  I don’t remember much about the show, but I remember the alphabet and counting skits, not skits about how to chase around a 3 ft ball of red fur to play dress up.  What are we teaching these kids in the subtext?  Be a level 7 clinger that chases around guys?  Don’t take no for an answer when you want some Muppet ass?

We, as a collective America, complain about violence on TV or risqué ads in the media.  We bitch about violence in movies.  We complain about sexually explicit language in songs.  Yet these same parents will take their kids to see Britney Spears hump chairs, or let them be fans and look up to the most recent abhorrence in Hollywood dumbfuckery: Lindsey Lohan.  But that’s a whole other story.  They let kids act out violence in GTA or Call of Duty but don’t want them seeing a movie with titties.  Newsflash folks, every kid on this planet has seen tits: They actually spent the first few years of their life equating them with sustenance.

My point in this rant?  The Katy Perry Sesame Street cameo was inane.  It wasn’t thought out.  And it may (and I stress may) have been to risqué for young children.  However, there are other things to be up in arms about.  Like the double standard we perpetuate when it comes to “controlling what our kids watch/listen to.”  Personally, I’m for open season and not sheltering any child.  The world is a scary place sometimes and acting like it isn’t doesn’t make it go away.  I’m sure not all of you agree with me, but if you’re going to do something, don’t be a hypocrite.  Do it unilaterally.  My other point, is that parents today would rather have their kids being fat little shits playing Xbox and blocking them from the world, rather than…say, here’s a thought, parenting.  Explaining.  Teaching.

Let’s not worry about having the same lesbian-curious-theme song singer on Sesame Street.  How about the pharmaceutical ads that dominate daytime TV, and spout bullshit like “do you ever get tired/do you ever get depressed/do you ever have anal leakage” and make everyone think that there is something wrong with them because they are not windsurfing or playing in a field of sunflowers?  Can we stop trying to sell people gum or makeup or Dr. Scholl’s Insoles with the false assertion that it will somehow make you a more complete and happy person?

There are better things to object to, and some no talent hack and billboard hooker trying to tickle a Muppet’s Elmo is not one of them.  Lady Gaga being the role model for 8-year-old girls…now that’s a problem: “Let’s have some fun/this beat is sick/I wanna take a ride on your disco stick” is not something I want to hear a second grader say…ever.