Nevermind The Posers

By Alexander Stigz Castiglione

We all saw it on the news.  We all read about it on MSN.  We all know what happened.  If you don’t, allow me to kick over the rock you’ve been living under.

Apparently, Katy Perry, pop-singer and one-hit wunderkind, was in a sketch on Sesame Street that was deemed too racy.  Check it out below.

Now that your brain cells are fried and ears bleeding, let me go on with my rant.

First off, what crack smoking CEO or acid-laced talent manager booked the same person who made the breakout hit “I Kissed A Girl”?  What rum soaked PR agent spun this, and offered a broad who sings about bikini’s and daisy dukes to a children’s program?  And we wonder why kids are getting dumber and dumber…we’re not leading by example.  (“We” being the people who are supposed to be adults).

I got to give it up to Elmo though, because for a red furry little bastard, he gets mad play.  Although the clip was more amusing to watch because of Katy Perry’s laughable acting skills, and even more atrocious lip syncing, I wouldn’t say it went into the category of “racy.”  So all you soccer moms that are up in arms: stop acting like it was Elmo catching some dome while the Cookie Monster hit it from behind.  It wasn’t that bad.  It was dumber and more irrelevant than offensive.

On a side note: Isn’t Sesame Street supposed to be about learning?  I don’t remember much about the show, but I remember the alphabet and counting skits, not skits about how to chase around a 3 ft ball of red fur to play dress up.  What are we teaching these kids in the subtext?  Be a level 7 clinger that chases around guys?  Don’t take no for an answer when you want some Muppet ass?

We, as a collective America, complain about violence on TV or risqué ads in the media.  We bitch about violence in movies.  We complain about sexually explicit language in songs.  Yet these same parents will take their kids to see Britney Spears hump chairs, or let them be fans and look up to the most recent abhorrence in Hollywood dumbfuckery: Lindsey Lohan.  But that’s a whole other story.  They let kids act out violence in GTA or Call of Duty but don’t want them seeing a movie with titties.  Newsflash folks, every kid on this planet has seen tits: They actually spent the first few years of their life equating them with sustenance.

My point in this rant?  The Katy Perry Sesame Street cameo was inane.  It wasn’t thought out.  And it may (and I stress may) have been to risqué for young children.  However, there are other things to be up in arms about.  Like the double standard we perpetuate when it comes to “controlling what our kids watch/listen to.”  Personally, I’m for open season and not sheltering any child.  The world is a scary place sometimes and acting like it isn’t doesn’t make it go away.  I’m sure not all of you agree with me, but if you’re going to do something, don’t be a hypocrite.  Do it unilaterally.  My other point, is that parents today would rather have their kids being fat little shits playing Xbox and blocking them from the world, rather than…say, here’s a thought, parenting.  Explaining.  Teaching.

Let’s not worry about having the same lesbian-curious-theme song singer on Sesame Street.  How about the pharmaceutical ads that dominate daytime TV, and spout bullshit like “do you ever get tired/do you ever get depressed/do you ever have anal leakage” and make everyone think that there is something wrong with them because they are not windsurfing or playing in a field of sunflowers?  Can we stop trying to sell people gum or makeup or Dr. Scholl’s Insoles with the false assertion that it will somehow make you a more complete and happy person?

There are better things to object to, and some no talent hack and billboard hooker trying to tickle a Muppet’s Elmo is not one of them.  Lady Gaga being the role model for 8-year-old girls…now that’s a problem: “Let’s have some fun/this beat is sick/I wanna take a ride on your disco stick” is not something I want to hear a second grader say…ever.