Nevermind The Posers

See ya in the pit.

Top 5 Artists You Love to Hate October 4, 2010

Filed under: Manic Monday Top 5 — NVMP @ 11:06 PM

TNT’s Top 5
5. Katy Perry – Didn’t want to put her on here, we all know she’s my #1, but that would just be too easy.  Katy Perry ruined Sesame Street.  What’s next?
4. The Mighty Regis – Ever watch a band and just have every element rub you the wrong way?  That’s what The Mighty Regis felt like, one big wedgie.
3. U2 – Screw you Bono.  Just screw you.  I have never liked your music and if I was as rich as you are, I would spend a good chunk of it on charities and saving the rain forests too.  You’re not the only one who cares about the environment AND loves music Bono.
2. Bjork – God, is she still making music?  I’ve disliked Bjork forever, since childhood.  I still laugh at the truthful childish joke “Bjork? More like big dork.”

1. Creed – OH man, I used to make fun of Creed like it was nobody’s business.  I hated their music as much as I hated their music videos.  I counted, Scott Stapp did that ‘slowly-lower-my-forearms-in-front-of-my-face-while-singing-to-make-me-look-like-I’m-passionate-about-something’ look 23 TIMES in the video for “My Sacrifice”…yeah…passionate about sucking ass.  Are you officially broken up Creed?  You are the reason South Park made episode 709 Christian Rock Hard.  Did you finally learn your lesson that no one cares about you?Stigz’s Top 5
5. Any winner of American Idol – Seriously, this has to stop.  You put out maybe three talented singers since the show started.  Everyone else just makes me want toss my cookies, especially that flamboyant guy-liner wearing dude (I don’t know if he won or made it to the finals, but who gives a shit).
4. Bon Jovi – My sister is a huge fan, sorry Steph, but I just can’t get into it.  And everybody is like “But he’s from Jersey!” which reiterates my disgust with one of his songs, the theme song from Deadliest Catch.  You know it.  “I’m a cowboy/On a steel horse I ride/I’m wanted/Dead or alive.”  My response: You’re from Jersey not Texas, so stop referring to your IROC Z as a “steel horse.”
3. T.I. – Autotune called, they want their shit back.  P.S. Stop buying your way into movies.  Quit while your ahead.
2. Lil. Wayne – aka The Scourge of Modern Hip Hop.
1. Kanye WestPaging no-talent, autotuned, sampling-addicted douchebags…Oh Kanye there you are, you responded quick.

Hoverbee’s Top 5
It would be so easy to pick Justin Bieber, Katy Perry, Ke$ha, or any other artist that is currently the most popular, but I decided to pick bands that have been getting under my skin for what feels like ages.
5. Three Days Grace – This post-grunge band from Canada kills me with such tunes as “Animal I Have Become” and “Just Like You.”
4. Puddle of Mudd – Forever to be known by me as that “smack my ass band” with the single “Control,” this American post-grunge band makes me clutch my head and scream “why?”  Grunge is over and there is no need to keep trying to evoke the spirit of Kurt Cobain.  “She Hates Me” is one such example that makes me weep with disdain.
3. Godsmack – Pick any song by this American post-grunge, nu metal hot mess and I dislike it.  Hits like “Whatever,” “Speak,” and “I Stand Alone” bring redundancy to an entirely new level.
2. Linkin Park – I admit I was a huge supporter of rap rock when it was a new concept and hadn’t gained wide acceptance or popularity as a genre.  Although considered nu metal and alternative rock as well, this band single-handedly killed my rap rock support.  My least favorite song by the band being “Numb.”
1. Nickelback – Yet another post-grunge band from Canada that makes my ears bleed and not in a good way.  I’ve never owned or cared enough to listen to an entire album, but every single they release is a stinker.  From “Photograph” to “How You Remind Me” and “Something In Your Mouth,”  I can’t help but hear a recycled sound that has been pimped-out and popped-up for mass consumption.

Angela’s Top 5
Top 5 artists I love to hate is probably the easiest list I’ve ever met.  These major acts that so many people go crazy for often make me feel like punching babies when they come on air.*  To say they turned me off completely in disgust is something of an understatement.  Anyway, enjoy this list and love to hate me for hating them.
*I do not condone baby punching.
5. Creed – Fuck Scott Stapp and his many Jesus like poses.  I got an idea, if you want to be Jesus so fucking badly let’s get some people together and publicly crucify you.  Man up.  Sounds like a party to me.
4. Lenny Kravitz – He drives me insane.  When I hear “American Woman” I get angry all over again like it’s a brand new discovery of hate.  I’d rather turn the radio off and sit in complete silence.  Kinda like how my uncle feels about watching Met games, “I’d rather watch grass grow than watch the fucking Mets.”
3. Dave Matthews Band – “Omg, I saw Dave last night,” “Yo, how many times have you seen Dave?”  “Dude, this one time at a Dave concert. . . . ”  Fuck.  Dave.  And Fuck Your first name basis.  Every single one.  I do not see what is appealing about his music. . .to me, it’s just a really drunk guy blathering into a microphone.  I just fucking hate jam bands.  I passionately despise the “Jam Band.”  If you all want to make real music sit down and write an actual song instead of wandering aimlessly until no one can tell which song of the set you’re on anymore.
2. U2 I can not stand Bono.  I just can’t listen to him preach.  I can’t do it.  The songs have never pulled me anywhere into their music and I would like to keep it that way.
1. Red Hot Chili Peppers/ The Rolling Stones – A tie for first, let me break this down.  I really do hate the Chili Peppers.  Though this is one of those things you KNOW is fundamentally wrong because just look at what they’ve done for music in their longevity.  I turn the station every time.  But, “how can you hate the Chili Peppers?!?!?!”  Listen, in my youth I found myself thinking that I liked them and I would listen when it came on.  HOLY SHIT – can I just tell you that AS I write this the RHCP came on…life is fucking funny.  Karma ladies and gentlemen, karma.  As for the Stones…I got nothing.  Nothing at all.  Sitting through one of their songs is slow torture in which the car becomes more of a hellish locked chamber I must endure until another song comes on, coaching  myself all the while.  It’s like the panic of trying to hold your breath in the face of a gas explosion; you know if you let go and breathe it in, even for one second, it’s going to feel like death…but your lungs burn so bad…

Honorable Mentions: The Killers, NickelBack, Tom Petty, and Neil Young

Klone’s Top 5
5. Lady GaGa – I don’t care if I find a song or two catchy, and I claim “Guilty Pleasures” like scared witnesses plead the 5th, but still…she’s a ridiculous spectacle, and I don’t mean ridiculous in the opposite day sense of trying to say super cool…she’s a nut bag…hopefully one day EVERYONE realizes it.
4. Katy Perry – I didn’t even know I realized I knew who this notorious shock-value airhead was, but leave it to SNL to confirm as much.  I hate this chick so much I’ve actually started finding some of her songs in the “Guilty Pleasure” category.
3. Soulja Boy – a.k.a. DeAndre Cortez Way…Do I need to explain this?  Can we please stop rewarding mediocrity?  PLEASE?!
2. Lindsey Lohan – Thank God she’s technically also a singer, so she can make this list.  I mean, talent?  NO!  Hilarity at what a failure at life she is?  Oh, HELL YES!!
1. Paris Hilton – She makes the list under the same LiLo exception to the rule…but this chick is the single person that instantly comes to mind when I think, “Who would the world NOT give a fuck about if she drove her brand new car into an active volcano?”  I mean, seriously?  A socialite?  Does anyone else find it disturbing that these rich idiots are so out of touch that they consider that an occupation?


3 Responses to “Top 5 Artists You Love to Hate”

  1. j9 Says:

    5: The Doors – There are a few songs I can listen to, but I just don’t like them! What really makes me love to hate them is people who talk about Jim Morrison like he was so effin’ great because he was hot and did drugs.
    4: Lil Wayne – I cannot name one song from him and I do not understand his popularity. Nor do I want to.
    3: Creed – Obvious.
    2: MGMT – There recent assault on people who buy their music is an complete turn off. “Electric Feel” doesn’t give you free range to be assholes.
    1: Insane Clown Posse – What. The. FUCK. Lame as hell, ignorantly violent, and poisonous to the ears of America.

  2. mur Says:

    Excellent….Ang I cannot believe how we are so on the same page about these bands!

  3. Iron & Envy Says:

    I love this post and basically agree with all of it… I’d add Coldplay to the mix though for being unoriginal, formulaic, and just plain shitty.

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